even aviators wear sweaters

when it all boils down to it, we are THE perfect american family.

with THE perfect all american kids.  period.

but let me back up a smidget.

last night we had our first annual, legendary, ultimate awesome, semi-overrated, super mega, ugly sweater christmas party.  all the cool people were invited.

if you weren't invited, you are indeed, not cool.  i'm so sorry.  you know, if you go through your insurance, counseling can be affordable.  and valuable to your acceptance and understanding.

but seriously,  if you weren't invited it's because of one of a few things:
1. it's most likely the aviator's fault
2. you don't live here
3. i don't know you
4. it's probably the aviator's fault
5. i suck
6. i'm sorry

but you missed it.

and these people didn't.  see how happy they are?  they were invited.  and they showed up.  and they had fun.  and they looked really ugly.

i suppose the most disturbing fact is that most of the dudes here are aviators.  see the guy in the front?  that is a lovely women's snowman turtleneck he's paired with pink pants.  he wings on friday.  congratulations, erin.

we had kids here too.

there's big c and her bestie, taylor, sitting in the middle.  sporting their horse sweaters.  they're really hideous, but i think the girls kinda liked 'em.

little c is on top of the couch.  we'll get back to him a little later.

we'll start the recap with an introduction of some guests.

this is marjy and larry.  yes, their names are old.  yes, they know that.  they were our first friends when we moved to the big city.  they steered us in the right direction for housing and schools.  it's tough here.  inner city tough.

"OH NO HE DIDN'T!"

um, yep.  he sure did.

this is daniel.  he's in the coast guard.  he's wearing a sweater vest with hearts.  go daniel, go.

this is maily.  in the background is her man of a man husband, brian.  we'll see them again soon.

here's v-slice and his girlfriend, katie.  she surprised us and drove in from new orleans.  she didn't wear an ugly sweater.  neither did he?  and they didn't bring kids so they left early.  to go out.  because they're smart.  and they have a life.  i remember when i had a life.

just kidding.  i don't remember that because of all the drugs.

just kidding.  i didn't do drugs.

i just never had a life.

moving on.

this is our playgroup.  we all have kids.  we get together on tuesdays and thursdays.  and none of our kids play "together".  and we call it playgroup.  but that's only because "coastie cuties" was already taken.

fact # 529: if you join our playgroup you have 60% chance of being pregnant this year.

we all know what they did.  recently.

these were the drags of the party.  the pregnant ones.  the DDs.  you know, the wives with happy husbands.

warner showed up in this.  he made it.  it's a christmas tree.  a real christmas tree.  with ornaments.  and candy canes.  and garland.

warner won the contest.

he didn't get a prize, but he and his lovely wife, kinga (also sporting a homemade number), did get to pose for a picture with the sensational little c.

and that is a reward in itself.  i'm almost 100% sure that this child is going to kick my ass some day for this.

but for the record, he needed no persuasion to rock this outfit.

"it's a little bit tight, but that's okay" he said.

"it hurts a little bit when i sit down, but that's okay" he said.

nothing but confidence with this kid.

even with abby.  she's his love interest.  he is completely devoted to loving her.

and she took a picture with him.  in this outfit.

he should have been pushing around a cart full of bratwurst.

not getting photo-bombed by this guy on tv.

if little c and abby get married one day, this picture will go on display, in large form, next to an engagement picture.

it all starts with the lederhosen.  or whatever this ensemble should be called.

bless his little heart.

alright folks.  that's enough.  stop making fun of my precious baby.  he can't help it.

we should probably just blame the aviator and go forward.

no christmas party is complete without a white elephant gift exchange.

big c opened "tiger baby".  she hated it.  she pouted.

marjy and her daughter, myah, stole it.  and clung to it all night long.

creepers.

warner walked away with some priceless art.

as did the aviator.

he smiled and laughed a little when he opened it.

but he didn't get it.  seriously.

erin scored some singing and dancing YMCApes.  lucky.

and daniel got revenge.

but i think the winner of the night was brian.

no, not because of this sweater.  or this turtleneck.  and i know what you're thinking... maily must be the big winner of the night because she's married to him.  and carrying his child.  but that's beside the point.

no, brian walked away with a reassuring message in the form of a christmas decoration.

"god made you special".  he did, brian.  you are special.

and so is his situation.  brian is married to maily.

you first met maily in my halloween post.

she was the belly with no face.

and now she has a face.  and a hand.  holding a beer.  at a party. with kids.

all. night. long.

at first i judged.  but then i heard the most amazing story from brian, and it all made sense.

"so, there's this husband and wife who are married.  and they go shopping one day at the store. and the husband wants to buy beer, but the wife tells him no.  they don't have enough money.  but then the wife wants to buy some makeup, and the husband asks why.  and she says because it makes her prettier.  and he says that's why he buys beer.  it makes her prettier."

"do you get it?"

" i do.  hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

brian is special.

and i'm glad he's our friend.

and maily would never drink a beer.  don't be silly.

and that's how the story ends.

smell ya next year!

-dimply stacy