one more bite and the button goes "POP"

here in milton, florida, there isn't much. there's the air station.  that's where the magic happens.  or so i'm told. then there's the texas roadhouse. it's completely out of place. this town is po-dunk, and they slapped a chain restaurant smack in the middle of it.  i wonder what the locals thought when that place opened its doors.

so, the texas roadhouse is next to ace's, the homestyle diner with license plate-themed everything.  and overpriced biscuits.  

for our shopping needs, we have the dollar general and family dollar.

the bealls AND the bealls outlet. 

bealls outlet: because bealls isn't cheap and weird enough on its own.  it's like having a mervyn's outlet. remember when those stores started closing down and it was like a ghost town inside? that's what bealls is like. what could possibly make it to the clearance store? all the latest trends? jewelry? lingerie? my mind is racing with possibilities.  now i kind of want to know what's inside. 

for a treat, i take the kids to big lots.  i love big lots. i even walk through the big lots furniture section and imagine what life would be like if we had one of those comfy pleather sofas that they make look so sweet on the "showroom floor". but seriously. big lots is greatness. 

what we do have here in booming milton is a tastee freez.  for those of you who have not had the pleasure of experiencing such bliss, you probably still fit into your clothes you wore last week. or the week before that.

i do not.

tastee freez is a run down looking, hole in the wall, provider of excellence. i first went there when my mom came to town a few weeks ago. since then, i've been there 9 times. okay 11.

i'm pretty sure it makes me a heffer just writing an entire posting on a fast food restaurant. 

but only if the aviator reads this.  and right now he's wrapped up in himself and thinking it's a big whoopie that he soloed today and blah blah blah. (and it totally is a big deal that he soloed, but if he reads this, maybe that last part will piss him off and he'll stop there so full of anger that the only thing on his mind is getting even with me. doing whatever it takes. filling his every thought. and i'll be skinny. at least in my mind.)

and besides, what he doesn't know, doesn't make me fat.  

where was i?  oh yea, at the TF. 

it's always a last minute decision for me when we walk through the door: chicken tenders or a cheeseburger? 

i just go with whatever comes out of my mouth.  most recently it was a burger. and fried pickles. 

   that's right. come to mama. little c ain't got nothin' on you.

i can actually see 459 grams of fat in this picture. it's worth it.  scales are way overrated, people.  trust me.

big c ate them all. turd. definitely not my favorite child that day. 

how did this even happen? i don't like to share. ever.  

i hope she loses another tooth in a pickle and everyone on the bus points and laughs. 

not really. 

and what's with this cornball?  he took 4 pictures just like this. 

and one like this.  these kids won't date for a long long time. 

thank god.

now everyone knows that you can't leave tastee freez without ice cream. hence the name. even though you're so full after your meal that you think a purge is on the brink, you find a way to force it down.  push through the pain. compete.

stop being a wuss.

i had a nutter butter freezee with chocolate ice cream. but i don't like to share. so i won't share a picture. so there.

i didn't take a picture.  i'm sorry.

big c and little c ordered ice cream cones. 

big c 86ed the cone because she's a weirdo who doesn't appreciate a good thing. 

and little c scooped his ice cream with his cone because he's a tool.

and speaking of the ice cream, check out the menu.

notice the bottom choices.

i can't think of anything worse than an onion or pickle shake or sundae. except maybe cat litter. or throw up. or gilbert godfrey's voice. or running more than 3 miles. 

but seriously. that's nasty.

if you're ever in milton, look me up. i'll treat you to a second topping of onion.  

i'm a real sweetheart.

- dimply stacy