circle contest

today we took the kidiots to the circus.

in mary esther, fl.

an hour away.

this was the aviator's idea. he's full of bright ones.

we decided to take a carload since we were driving the big car.

it made more sense economically.

or something like that.

and we don't like to be alone.  things get awkward.  and we need an audience for our antics.  it makes us feel important and, well... important.

big c brought her friend, ali along. ali plays on her soccer team. she kicks the ball really hard.  the aviator says "boom" every time she does so.  it makes him a tool.  but he's my tool, so back off.

ali also stands about a foot taller than little c.  maybe more. kids and growth spurts are weird.  and cool.

little c had his girl buddy, little j.  i had her mom, big j (she likes it when i call her that).

big j is 6 months pregnant and i still outweigh her by 40 pounds.  at least.

she's pretty.  i like her.  not because she's pretty, because that would be shallow. and creepy.  and i'm trying really hard not to be those things anymore.

big j is a good person.  a really good person.  better than most.  even me, maybe. MAYBE.

the aviator didn't have a friend.  we all pointed and laughed. and then let him in our group.


we didn't tell the kids we were going until last night.  that way we still had time to change our minds and think of something totally selfish to do that would make us happy.  then we decided as a team that we loved our children and we would take them to do something that would make them love us back.

it's all about material things with our kids.

big c and little c have never been to the circus.  that's mostly because we're bad parents.  and i'm okay with that.

little c called it the "circle contest" all day.  he also called st. patty's day the leper contest.  dissect that one, and let me know what you come up with.  but don't tell me if you have some deep underlying meaning for why he turns things into contests.  especially a contest involving lepers.

after what seemed like a lifetime in the car, we finally made it to the mall parking lot where this spectacle of a circus was being held.  i had been so worried about a sell-out that i prepaid for tickets on the phone. and convenience charges. and 30 other fees.  i'm a thinker.

it was the opposite of sold out. (see all those empty seats? this was in the middle of the show).  it was NOT barnum and bailey's. and it was NOT air conditioned.

and it's still hot in florida.  really stinkin' hot.  those smiles are phony.

we promised the kids in the car that they would get to smell elephant poop.  i like to keep my promises.

so, before we went inside, the kids rode this elephant.

it cost $8 each.

and it pooped AND peed while they were on it. we didn't pay extra for that.

but the aviator made me come over to this angle to get a shot of the poop.

see?

i'm sorry.

that's completely inappropriate.

and gross.

and not as big as you'd think.

then they got their faces painted.  the aviator just loves face paint.  always has.

big c was a dog.  a big dog. a big bad dog.

that wasn't funny, i know.  but it's late. so it seemed funnier when i wrote it.  and i'm not gonna delete it because i don't feel like it.

ali was a leopard.

and little c was.....

spiderman, of course.

my kids....

my kids are cute.

and they both managed to get into trouble before the day was done.

before we even got home, actually.

but this is before that happened.

so they're cute.

that's all.

after 18 seconds in a sardine packed bleacher section at the back end of an inflatable tent with little visibility (called "general admission"), the aviator made his way to the ticket booth to pay whatever amount was necessary for an upgrade to the "VIP" section.  it had seats.  yes, i know i've already shown you this picture.  i'm rad.

we stayed long enough to see the tigers

the trapeze

and the clowns.

and little c's face melt like a spidermonkey crayon.

then the animals came through for an encore parade and we were so happy it was over.

and the ringmaster said it was intermission and we plugged the kids' ears and escorted them out of the tent.

and to the car.

and away from the mall parking lot where said circus was performing.

and they were so happy to have spent the day and all of our money at a circle contest.

because we're good parents.

probably the best i know.

the end.


- dimply stacy