soccer and the ocean

little c also had his first soccer game last weekend. i lied about his age so he could play. i lie a lot. surely the soccer gods will damn me to hell, but i like to live on the wild side, so i risked it. the youngest division they have is U-6, so i stuck my 3 year old out there to fend for himself with the 5 year old monsters. "mama loves you, buddy. gotta man up sometime." oh, i talk a mean game, but let's be serious. he's my baby. my 3 year old baby. he still has two more years until kindergarten. if anyone hurts him, i'll kill 'em. in their sleep. with a dull knife. i'm serious.

so, the game went like this... 

seriously, child. be cuter.

notice the toy story soccer ball. i agree that this makes him somewhat of a pansy. nothing says "i don't take this seriously, and i'm gonna pick flowers the whole game" like a disney pixar ball. that glows in the dark. and rest assured that this is something that i NEVER would have allowed big c to sport, but, well, he's my baby. and it's cute. and yes, this makes me a bad mom.

now, here's where the magic begins. little c did not wipe this smile off of his face the entire game.  remember my theory from big c's game? soccer is not supposed to be fun.  but the smile is contagious. 

the kid's gonna be great. not this season so much. but eventually.

getting schooled by a little girl with baby pink cleats is NOT a laughing matter. for real.

but then there's the skills. the mad skills.

and the natural ability to look like a soccer player, even with a smile on his face.

but then he poses for the camera, with a huge grin, and the skills go down the drain.

teammate n, with the ball, he gets it. he's good. already.

meanwhile... what are you looking at, baby? the game's the other direction. oh, is it a butterfly? pay attention, dang it. but you don't even have a number. my poor poor numberless, clueless, child. 

the backup plan: taking down anyone in his way.

including his teammates. eat that, little girl.

oh, you're getting subbed out after bulldozing everyone on the field? come to mama.

mama still loves you.

mama would have taken them out for you if you wanted me to.  (and let me add, the coach in the background... for the "other team" ... insert bad word of your choice. little c's feet got tangled up with his kid's feet and he made a big ol' fat scene on the field and accused my baby of yanking his kid down in dirty fashion by the neck. oh sure, i totally kept my composure for that one. ) 

you have a sip, little c. mama has to whoop some... yea, i didn't do anything.

i'm proud of you too. 

see there.  i told you this would be full of pictures of kids who aren't yours. feel free to skim right over those. or send me a picture of your kid, and i can put it up on my blog for other people to wonder why the hell i have a picture of some random kid. 


in other news, little c just told me that he can hear the ocean in my thigh. right after he told me "i love you so much". right before i wiped his butt. right after the "quickest poop ever". the aviator explained that this is because my thighs are so big. he'll sleep on the couch tonight. and now i need a drink. and some hot tamales. 


- dimply stacy