my mother's curse

these are my kidiots.  and i love them.

today is little c's last soccer game.  it seems like he just started yesterday.

remember this?  his first game.  my numberless, clueless, friendless baby.

the one who smiled the whole game.  and didn't pay attention to the ball.  and never had any desire or potential to score a goal.  but it didn't matter because he was so stinkin' cute.

the one who knocked down players on his own team.  and smiled behind their backs.

the one who sometimes cried the entire second half.  for no reason.

and high fived his coach

for 5 minutes.

or longer.

well, that kid, my baby, little c has grown up so much.

he averages 1-2 goals per game.  for our team.

and he goes the right way almost 75% of the game.

he's a big boy now.

so big it makes me sad.  and sometimes i forget that he's not a baby anymore.

he's 4.

he belongs out here with these kids.  he fits in.

the slight age gap doesn't seem to matter on the field.

little c can hold his own.

and then he plays against this kid.  in the same age group.

and he's my baby again.

but then there's big c.

she started off like a champ.  sort of.

and then as the season progressed....

so did her ability to manage the bunch ball.  and break free of it.

and her ability to take a gut punch with the cleat end of heidi's nike boot.

she's all man, big c.

and now she's decided to dedicate herself to soccer.

and be competitive.

and play on an academy team.  in addition to her regular team.

and practice 4 nights a week.  with games on saturday.  and sometimes sunday.

even though the soccer fields are at least 30 minutes away, and it takes 2-3 hours out of the night to go.

and we can't have family dinners anymore.

or movie nights.

or sleepovers (even though we still do and she suffers the consequences of sleep deprivation because she's 8. and 8 year old should have sleepovers).

or a life.  for all of us.

so, it seems to me that big c is selfish.

soccer, soccer, soccer.

with an occasional "can i play softball in the spring too?"

she's a nightmare.

and my mother wished this upon me.

"it's payback for all the times i didn't have a life" she says.

big c has done what i always hoped she'd do.  and what i always feared she'd do.

she's become me.

poor poor child.

hug your kids a little tighter tonight.

this could happen to you one day.

and you might not be prepared.

- dimply stacy