ghost of halloween past

halloween is supposed to be all about kids.  all about fun.  all about creativity and candy and costumes and laughing and crap.

well, it's not.  halloween is stressful.  it's chaotic.  it's time consuming.

for me.

i've brought this upon myself, i know.  for some reason i can't just be a normal parent who takes the kids to the store and lets them pick out the costume they want to wear for halloween and call it done.  nope.  that's not even an option.  in fact, they have little to no say in what they will actually dress up as for the big day.

oh wait, this is because there is a family history of anal-ness associated with this holiday.  on both sides.  for me, as a kid, halloween was a beating.  we were members of the country club.  and not those snooty type members who wear sweaters around their shoulders. and sip tea with their pinky finger up.  and talk about how dreadful the prime rib was at last night's gala.  don't you worry.  we were the white trash of the mix.  among others. and there was this costume contest every year.  and i had to win this costume contest every year.  and i had to wear ridiculous costumes to win this costume contest every year.  because every 6 year old girl wants to be a scarecrow for halloween.  and be stuffed with hay.  from a farm. on my bare skin.  because that's not itchy.  and because every 7 year old girl WANTS to be uncle sam for halloween, right?  because every 7 year old girl KNOWS who uncle sam is, right?  right.  you see, i figured out that halloween would be about me when i had my own kids.

and if you think it was bad for me, the aviator's dad was even more anal.  only his costumes were off the chart.  we didn't compete in the same costume contests.  that's not because i'm older than he is and i was in a different age bracket.  like the age bracket that was too old to compete.  because i was too old.  oh, shut up.  and if we'd competed in the same contest, there would have been no contest.  i might have gotten an honorable mention.  at best.  the aviator knows all too well about the discomforts of halloween.  and this is something we wanted to share with our children.  over and over.  and over.

speaking of over... over the years, i may have been just a teensy crazy with big c's costumes.  not so much in year 1.  but that's only because she was 2 months old.  and no fun.

and year 2.  she was just walking.  and it was hot.  and she was still no fun.

but by year 3 of her existence,  it. was. on.

she wanted to be an octopus that year.  she liked the wiggles.  we don't do disney themed characters.

so i taught myself to sort of sew.  and she was an octopus.  and it was fun.  fun.

she had fun.  until she was sick.  fun.

year 4.  i waited until the last minute.  literally.  3:00 halloween.

i do this.  why?

i already knew she was going to be an oompa loompa.  the old school type.  not that new crazy oompa loompa crap with johnny depp and weird stretchy violet beauregard.  70's style.

i had to show her the movie the night before so she would know what she was.  that's good parenting.  she was prepared.

and she was the ONLY oompa loompa.  and every adult knew what she was.  and that's all that matters.

and looking back at these pictures, i can't believe i put regular mary janes on her with this costume.  that's completely out of character.  for me.

year 5.  little c was born seven days before halloween.

mommy was tired.

big c was a princess.

i still kick my own ass for this one.

year 6.  the new had worn off of baby little c.  i had to redeem myself for last year.

marge simpson.  represent.

little c was rocking the stroller.  he was bart.  he wasn't awesome.

and no.  there are no pictures of him.  that's poor parenting.  i know.

the aviator was lisa simpson.  i made his dress and hair too.  there are pictures.  we agreed not to post them.  i want to keep my marriage today.

year 7.  big c had a school parade.  she needed to be a pirate.

mommy was tired.

so tired.

but every little kid was a pirate.  mine had to be different.  authentic.  flashy.

because her personality wasn't enough.

and i halfway made little c a pirate costume.

it really is true about the first child getting all the good stuff.

and subsequent children getting.... well, screwed a little.

kidding.

we all know little c is my baby.  my precious boy.  my heart and soul.

man, those kids are neat.

done.

year 8.  we moved to california.  where store bought costumes cost a million dollars.  or something like that.  the aviator was a sailor at the time.  sort of.

okay, not really.  but he was in the coast guard.  and that's almost a sailor.  and he used to be a sailor.

okay, so i didn't really have a reason for what i did.  who cares?

i made popeye and olive oyl costumes for big c and little c.

see how much fun they're having?

halloween is fun.

and big c.  total tool.

and did i mention that big c is a total tool?

and we might or might not have shown them the cartoon in the week ahead so they would know who they were.  i mean, it's not like i have ever had to do that before.

all the kids were begging to be popeye.  and olive oyl.  trust me on this.

just like every kid wanted to be uncle sam.

redemption.

so you see.  i have put this pressure on myself to make original costumes.  i crave the attention.  i need it.  it's sickening.

year 9.  we moved to florida.  i could just use an old costume.  nobody would know.  nobody knew us before we got here.

yeah right.

this year had to be great.

stay tuned for the big reveal.  i'll see you tomorrow.

trick or treat.

my dimples are a multiply-n.

goodnight.

-dimply stacy