yesterday big c went to the hospital. it was her first surgery. rookie.
we went to the naval hospital, which is as horrible as you've heard. only not. because it was fabulous.
she had a complete T & A removal.
tonsils and adenoids. keep your head out of the gutter, people.
we had to be at the hospital at 5:45 a.m. i had to wake her up at 4:30. it was dark and she was tired, yet she talked all the way there. all. the. way. it's about a 45 minute drive, and it gave me time to reflect on how happy i would be to have a few days of silence. a few days to take care of my helpless child who needed me so much. a few days of silence. oh wait, did i already say that?
and big c wasn't really nervous.
she was goofing off before they brought in her lovely size 2T gown. it was either a 2T or an adult small. either way, she looked stunning.
she modeled the latest t-rex fashion. and have i mentioned before that she is NOT a dancer? yep. confirmed.
big c expressed her concerns about having the IV put in her arm. she wasn't worried about the actual procedure... just the IV. not the sore throat that would ensue the following week.... just the IV. this is where i tell her to suck it up and get over it. we've all had an IV. little c had to have one when he spent a week in the hospital last january. and he had a tonsilectomy without any drugs. an at-home version. but that's a story for another day.
the doctor said they could give her something to "take the edge off". apparently it's pretty easy to score drugs when you're a cute 8 year old. i think i've missed my time.
and they totally spoiled her. they put an ID bracelet on her bear. the bear she whips out when something is going to be emotional. the bear i made for her when she was 2. the bear that says "i love you" in my voice. she's too old for THAT bear, unless she's hurt or sad about something.
then they slapped her on the gurney, wheeled her down to the OR, and spoiled her a little bit more. what happened to tough love? and no, i wasn't jealous. people spoil me all the time. i mean, i've got people.
okay, so i don't really have people, but that's because i'm tough and i don't need any.
but this OR nurse. she was a sucker. she walked in and put the cute little blue cap on big c. and big c said "i wish i had one like yours. it's so cute." and wa-la. the nurse came back in 10 seconds with one of her personal caps to put on my precious child.
here's where she's gotten her way. again. as always. best. day. ever.
nope. this is post-surgery. see the smile on her face? no? it was gone. but her sense of humor was kicked up a notch. and not on purpose. when she was wheeled into recovery after the painful 20 minute procedure, she was babbling on.
"momma, that mask didn't do anything to me"
"yes it did, baby. that was laughing gas. it puts you to sleep so they can do the surgery."
"nuh uh, momma. nothing came out of it"
"well, did you go to sleep? or were you awake the whole time?"
"no, i just got so bored in there from waiting. and i didn't have anything else to do. so i just went to sleep."
"is that right? you were bored?"
"momma? when are they gonna take my tonsils out? because momma... my throat hurts right now."
"they already took them out, sweetie. they did it when you were sleeping."
(cue the tears)
"i thought they were gonna put me to sleep. now my throat hurts."
then they let me get in the bed with her and they doped her up.
on a side note: see that dent in her forehead? i did that to her when she was 1. and 2. well, i didn't really DO that to her, but my poor parenting allowed this to happen. she was the purple forehead baby for months and months. oh, come on, like your kid has never fallen repeatedly, injuring the same thing over and over and over. for my kid, it was her forehead. the end result was this dent that shows up when she cries or makes a pouty face of any sort. you are welcome, kiddo!
after 2 hours, i went to the navy exchange on the 2nd floor. i had already cleaned up 2 buckets of puke, so i thought i would treat myself. i came back with this puppy. totally changed everything.
and 1 hour later, she was dressed and smiling for the camera.
and smiling for the camera. oh, sorry. you didn't want to see that, did you?
then i told her to get up and get ready to leave and she tooted. then she got up to find her shoes and she tooted. then she started laughing at her toots and she tooted again. and again. and then the room smelled so bad. but she said we could just blame it on the 11 year old girl next to her, whose mom preaches the paranormal and updates her facebook 4 times while in recovery. and whose mom says things like "well at least your not pregnant right now" in front of the anesthesiologist. and the anesthesiologist throws me a look just for some reassurance that this is not an okay topic for young girls. in the hospital. and gives me the head nod when he realizes we're on the same page. besides, they would probably think she tooted on her way out anyways.
then she smiles and looks prettier than ever. 4 hours after surgery.
and fist pumps on her way out because she gets to ride in a wheelchair.
and i can totally put her in a wheelchair permanently if that'll make her happy. that's what a good mom would do. and i'm a good mom.
the end.
-dimply stacy
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