NO TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS, IMPRESSIONS, HUMMING, DANCING, DRESSING, ETC.
this rule applies to both kids. little c sadly knows all of the words because he shares his life with big c. as a result, the aviator also knows the words to her songs because he is forced to listen to the kidiots sing them at obnoxious volumes and tunes.
i like taylor swift. i sing along in my head, and when the aviator is not with me, i sing at the top of my lungs. it's not pretty. the ban is not a shot at her as a person. nor is it a disregard for her talent. she has talent. good talent. big c has talents too. it's just that one of them does not happen to be singing anything like taylor swift. not even in the ballpark. like, really, not good.
this rule is enforced by the aviator. especially in the car. oh man, you had better not even start it in the car. and if one of her songs comes on the radio, his hand will move so fast to change the station, you'd swear someone was taking his tots. and he doesn't even love them the way one should love tots. and he still moves quickly. as if to sever my hand with the blade edge of his karate chopping hand for trying to defend the dial.
now, the taylor swift rule doesn't just apply to taylor swift songs. that's just the biggie. it pretty much goes for all pop music. the aviator swears he doesn't know who katy perry is, but by golly, california girls can go to hell in our house. and no flo-rida. and no selena gomez. and no britney spears. and no lady ga ga. and well, you get the idea. he's so hardcore, that guy.
he has big c and little c hooked on avenged sevenfold. edited versions, of course. and system of a down. and slipknot. and other such "man" bands. death metal, he calls it. but it's not really that heavy. i like them too. but i would never let on. then he wouldn't EVER let me annoy him with pop. or 80's music. you see, the aviator doesn't like pop. or boy bands. or girl bands. he frowned upon my jesse mccartney crush. it was like he didn't even know me. and just last night we talked about justin timberlake. not his style, but he was "glad the dude made a career out of it". or some crap like that.
the aviator has good intentions. he wants the kids to grow up appreciating ALL types of music. as long as those are types of music that he also enjoys. but don't worry, i'm alone with the kidiots a lot. they listen to teeny bop. and pop. and all that mess. the aviator would NEVER be associated with such travesties. such embarrassment. such failed judgement.
hey aviator, who was your favorite new kid?
wait. let me guess. was it donnie?
and you were 9. older than both of our kids.
and you WERE a boy. i think.
go ahead, party like it's your birthday.
you deserve it.
- dimply stacy
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